AkatsukiCampingTrip
by A lame Jashinist
Summary: The vicious criminals of Akatsuki go on a camping trip. Please note this fanfiction is supposed to be funny and lighthearted. Has swearing and potential other words (if you know what I mean- sorry). No lemons though.
1. Part1

"PACK YOUR SHIT! WE'RE CAMPING!"

Hidan POV

It was gonna be ridiculous. Camping? The Akatsuki? Hidan knew it would end badly but he still went along with it. He was sort of glad that he would be separated from Kakazu. He was one of the more strange ones so he got his own tent. Kakazu wouldn't interfere with his praying. But others weren't so lucky. Deidara had to share a tent with Tobi. Tobi was... strange? Anyways. He had finished packing his stuff on Pain's orders. They were taken a bus, driven by Itachi. He sat by Kakazu. They were both mostly silent. Hidan flocked his uninterested gaze to his partner. He was just staring at the seat ahead of them. "So." He started rashly. He didn't know what to talk about. Kakazu whipped his head around. "What do you want?" He said. "Huh, geez. Just wanted someone to talk to! This is really borinAAA-" Itachi turned the bus hard, the tires screeched as Hidan slammed into Kakazu. The bus nearly tipped over as Itachi floored the gas. Hidan was pretty heavy so his weight crushing down on Kakazu did not feel good. At all. Kakazu tried to press against Hidan to make him go upright but it was quite hard. "FUCKING CALM YOURSELF ITACHI!" Hidan screeched. Kakazu removed his arms to push with more force, eventually pushing him out of the seat. He was instantly pushed to the back of the bus due to the force of how it was moving. Hidan was cursing, Tobi was just looking at him and giggling from his seat which was in the back with Deidara. "SLOW DOWN!" screamed Deidara, who really just didn't wanna put up with Hidan's shit. Itachi finally slammed on the brakes as they skidded to a halt at a small campsite with a fire pit and one cabin, and then surrounding forest. Hidan sighed, but then stood up. "I'M GONNA BEAT YOUR ASS, BIRD MAN!" He screeched, charging up to the head of the bus, but being tripped by Kakazu's extendable hand. "What did you expect, Hidan?" He growled, dragging him over despite him trying to plant his scythe into the ground to stop him. But it didn't work. Kakazu grabbed him and threw him into the seat, and then threw his luggage into him. Hidan just wheezed and picked all of it up. Everyone walked off the bus, Pain setting down the tents. "Who's gonna set them up?" He looked around, his glare turning to Hidan. "You! Since you caused quite a ruckus in the bus." He looked offended. "You're high if you think it was MY fault!" Hidan sai, exasperated as he kneeled down and grabbed a hammer and the tents. Kakazu kneeed down to help him. "Anyone else?" Pain scowled, looking around. "Tobi wants to help!" Tobi said gleefully picking up a stick. "Fine, whatever." Pain said. Deidara looked relieved. "I'm going to the lake to find clay." He said, turning around. "Bye bye." Hidan was glad that sassy little bitch would be gone. He looked like a girl. But Tobi would be with them. It was gonna be a long ride.

Deidara POV

Everyone was an idiot. Deidara sighed, kneeling down by the lake. He took off his cloak and fished around in the water, digging his fingers into a soft patch of orange clay and pulling it up. "That's good enough." Deidara set it down and poked it gently, and then went back to grabbing more clay when Itachi came out of the bushes. "Need some help?" He said, narrowing his eyes at the chunk of clay next to him. "Don't you already have explosive clay?" Itachi said quizzically and kneeling down beside him. Deidara rolled his eyes. "I want some normal clay too." He extended his hand. The mouth on it spat out white clay. "This is the explosive stuff." He said, dropping it. "Art is an explosion." It made a little boom, setting the grass around it on fire. "Interesting." Itachi said. He splashed some water on the fiery patch of grass. "You gonna help?" Deidara said , pulling up another chunk of clay and fishing for more. Itachi narrowed his eyes at the water. "Sure." He took off his cloak and set it aside, putting his hand into the water and feeling around the edges of the lake.


	2. Part2

Deidara POV

Deidara and Itachi has gathered a satisfyingly- sized piece of clay that Deidara put into a little plastic bag. "Thanks, I guess. Old man." He said, grinning. "I'm not an old man, okay?" He said, looking around. "Which way is back to the campsite?" Deidara facepalms hard. "How'd you get here, un?!" He grumbled. "Do you need me to hold your hand?" Deidara picked up his cloak and throwing Itachi's at him. "Let's go, un. The others will be waiting." Itachi caught it and walked back with a yellow speck. Meanwhile Hidan, Tobi And Kakazu has set up the tents nicely. Tobi had a pink marker and wrote 'Deidara Senpai and Tobi' on one of the tents. Deidara groaned, looking around. "There are two sets of bunk beds in the cabin. Who's sleeping there?" He said, narrowing his eyes. "Me and Konan. And then two others." Pain said. "We'll do a talent show!" He said, surprisingly gleefully. Hidan grinned. "Y'all are going down." He said. "Prepare yourselves!" Pain shouted. Everyone huffed and walked off as Pain set up a little desk for the judges, him and Konan.

Konan and Pain POV

It was time. Konan called up everyone, and sat them down. Kakazu began to talk but Hidan interrupted him. "I can burp the entire alphabet after drinking a can of soda." He announced. Pain cringed. "We don't wanna hear tha-" but it was too late. Hidan was grabbing a can of soda and he opened it, and then chugged it and threw the can at a bird. The bird fell. Hidan breathed in deeply, then started to- burp the alphabet, just as he said. Pain looked disgusted, but Konan gave a 7. Pain just caved in and gave a 3. "HAHA! Beat that, bitches!" His caterwaul echoes through the forest. Kakazu groaned, covering his ears. "I can... uhhh... hug yooou!" Tobi shouted, dashing towards the desk but he passed through them and bashed his head on a tree. Konan and Pain gave a zero. Everyone else showed off their talents, but in the end Deidara and Kakazu won. Deidara was relieved. He didn't have to share a tent with Tobi. That'd be amazing. "Alright now you two winners will pick partners for doing something- like swimming, canoeing, bird watching, whatever." He shrugged. "I pick Hidan, I guess." Kakazu said. Hidan was surprised. "I'll pick Itachi." Deidara said quietly. Itachi looked up. "Alright." They all stood up. "All right, since Itachi is gone Kisame you go with Tobi." Tobi cheered, dashing forward. "YAAAY!" This time he could actually hug Kisame. Kisame awkwardly hugged back as Tobi dragged Kisame into the forest. "We're going swimming at the lake, fishy boy!" Deidara just glared at them. "I guess we can go fly on my awesome clay dragon, un." He grinned, pointing to himself. Itachi grinned. "Alright." They went off into the forest. Eventually everyone had gone, except for Hidan and Kakazu. "What're we gonna do?" Hidan shrugged, scoffing. "I guess we can canoe."

Hidan POV

Kakazu held the canoe to the shore. "Let's go." He said, waiting for Hidan to get in. He carefully stepped inside and sat down, grabbing a paddle. "Cmon!" He said gleefully. "Coming." Kakazu said in response. He jumped in the canoe and it rocked a bit. Kakazu grabbed a paddle and pushed the canoe forward. It cut across the lake. Kakazu watched Kisame swim across the lake with ease as Tobi watched, marveling at his skill. Hidan sighed. "Let's go faster!" He shouted, holding the paddle in the air and rigorously paddling forward, turning sharply. Kakazu began to help, but from the force it toppled over. Hidan screeched as he latched onto Kakazu without thinking, wrapping his legs around him. "YOU'RE FUCKING IMMORTAL! YOU CAN'T DROWN!" Kakazu screamed as they immeadiately sunk down. Hidan flailed his arms around, trying to pull them to the surface, still clinging onto Kakazu. Kisame grabbed Kakazu's arm and pulled him up. Kakazu gripped the shore, gasping and panting as Hidan was still on him. "ARE WE DYING?" He shouted as he rubbed his eyes. Kakazu threw him into shore. "No." He growled, shaking himself as Kisame swam over. "Need a towel?" He said, grinning as Tobi ran over. "Kisame! That was so cool how you saved them!" He cooed. Kisame rolled his eyes. "It wasn't that impressive." He said, swimming over to the canoe and dragging it over. "Here's your canoe. You're gonna have to upturn it." He grinned. "Tobi, you getting in?" He said quizzically. Tobi shook his head rapidly. "No, no, no, no!" He said. "I'm good." Kisame shrugged. "Suit yourself!" He swam out again, as Hidan tried to flip the boat over and Kakazu helping with his extendable hands. They were both grunting and finally flipped it, Hidan landing on Kakazu. He was angrily pushed off. "Jesus, would you stop being clumsy? Get on." Kakazu jumped onto the boat and dragged Hidan along. "It's your fault it tipped." He said as he picked up with paddle. Hidan growled. "Well, you helped!" He shouted, picking up the other paddle. They paddle across the lake in crackling silence. "I'm gonna kill you." Kakazu muttered under his breath.


	3. Part3

Itachi POV

Itachi was actually growing fond of the blonde little boy. Despite their clash for his freedom, they had a nice friendship going. He guessed Pain was right. Camping would help them bond. Deidara was already making his weird mouth hands spit out clay to mold into the dragon. He figured he didn't want help so Itachi just glanced around and heard Hidan and Kakazu's passionate arguement, and then another loud splash, and more muffled screaming. Itachi decided to investigate and what he saw was gold. It was Hidan clinging onto Kakazu, screaming still as they both flailed their limbs around. Kisame was just watching. "Let them fight." He said when Itachi stepped forward. "They'd better kiss, or I want my money back. Not like I paid them or anything." Itachi scoffed. "That's all that's on your mind, huh?" He kneeled down next to his partner sitting on his knees. His tired muscles relaxed. He could let this happen around Kisame. The shark dude was actually pretty laid back. They watched as Hidan finally gripped land and pulled them forward. Itachi just had to chuckle a tiny bit. The black haired man stood up, waving to his partner. "Bye. Survive Tobi, would you?" Itachi winked, Kisame chuckling. "Bye."

Tobi POV

Tobi grabbed a towel. "Here you go! You should probably take a break for now. Canoeing isn't your cup of tea, huh?" He gave it to Hidan and Kakazu. He didn't want to say thank you, so Hidan just scoffed. "Dumbass." He said. "But Tobi is a good boy! I had to help my friends, or I wouldn't be a good boy." Kakazu sighed as him and Hidan walked away to change. Tobi scratches his head. "I don't know why my friends hate me! They're my friends. But they love me! Right?" He turned back to the water's edge and walking over to Kisame. "Kisame-san! How are you?" Tobi said gleefully kneeling beside him. Kisame shrugged. "I'm doing fine. I think this is fun, huh?" He grinned. "Yeah! Of course!" The hyperactive black haired ninja waved his arms around excitedly. "Why do Kakazu and Hidan fight so much? They seem like great friends!" Tobi said. Kisame scoffed. "I wouldn't count on that, Tobi." He said, crossing his legs. "They argue constantly, because of their different views of life. Hidan is religious and Kakazu just likes money. He's more serious while Hidan is more humorous." Tobi thought for a moment. "That seems to be fair." They both nodded. "Well, wanna do something else?" Kisame said to the shorter ninja. "I'm sure you don't wanna swim. Why not, though?" Tobi cringed visibly, recoiling back. "Nothing," he said, his voice getting lower. Kisame was quite surprised. "Alright." He threw on his Akatsuki cloak and decided not to question. When he thought about it, Tobi was very mysterious. Could be Madara, or someone else. He acted humorous and used hyperboles over everything, but no one knew what was under the mask. His deep thoughts were interrupted by Toni's shouting. "Groundhog no Justu!" He shouted, grabbing Kisame by his arm and traveling underground. They eventually popped up to where the tents were, where Konan and Pain were talking while sitting on Hidan's sleeping bag. Tobi clapped, running forward. "Kisame needs clothes! He's all wet. So do Hidan and Kakazu." He said. Pain and Konan nodded. "I guess canoeing isn't their forte." They both said in sync. Kisame chuckled. "Hey, have you seen Itachi and Deidara yet-" A giant white dragon swooped above them, as Deidara laughed very loudly. Itachi held onto the dragon, shaking a bit but still hanging on. "Never mind." He said.


End file.
